Here I Am

20^th Jun, 2015

Here I am, once more
Looking at my knees
Burnt to the core
Searching for the sense of ease.

We humans are an insufferable lot,
We gnaw on each other on the spot,
Oh, we selfish creatures with foul deeds,
We wolves in sheep’s clothing and bad seeds.

Thinking up ways to slam, to blame,
Break someone’s spirit, diminish, derail…

Enough!!! Stop!!!
I’m not a prop!
Think of my feelings as I have been thinking of yours all my life…

A scream has escaped my throat.
Then a croak and from my eye a tear…
I hold you dear
And yet you hurt me so…
You’re not my beau,
You’re more precious than any man,
Were my strongest and most loyal fan.

Now I stare at the floor,
Face stained with tears.
I don’t care anymore…
Or so I say, all smokes and mirrors.

Made fun of for nothing,
For being myself, for being true
Crying, screaming, shouting, pleading…
Nothing works, I’m through…

‘Twas a snarly comment coated in the image of a joke.

Alas, I know its true form.
Sometimes I feel like never being born,
Even though I’ve been told so many times my birth gave you joy
Maybe things would’ve been different if I were a boy.